


playboy

by thunderylee



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Established Baekyeon, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, magical vag, she's okay w it i promise, voyeur minseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:22:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Jongdae hooks up with at least one girl in every city they tour in.





	playboy

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

“ _Again_?” Junmyeon calls out the minute Jongdae sneaks into rehearsal with an incriminating mark on his neck.

“Chinese girls are ruthless!” Jongdae shoots back.

Yixing grins. “Yeah they are.”

“How many is this now?” Jongin asks. “I think you’ve hooked up with at least one girl in every city we’ve toured in.”

Jongdae shrugs. “I don’t keep count.”

“You are such a  _whore_ ,” Minseok tells him, which just makes him grin. “Do you even know these girls’ names?”

“Of course I do,” Jongdae replies indignantly. “I’m not a  _tool_.”

“I wish I was as cool as you, hyung,” Sehun says with a frown. “I want hoes in different area codes too!”

“Your first problem is calling them hoes,” Jongdae lectures, and both Sehun and Jongin take out their phones to take notes. “They are  _women_ , or ladies. Respect will get you far, my dongsaengs.”

“Oh, give it a rest,” Baekhyun scoffs as he checks out his form in the mirror. “Nobody cares that you’re the pussy bandit of the group.”

“I am literally telling them that they should respect women,” Jongdae says slowly. “Jealous, much?”

“Please.” Baekhyun doesn’t even give Jongdae the decency of a glare. “Like I care where you stick it.”

He feels all eyes on him as Jongdae saunters up to the mirror, resting his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Are you jealous because my dick game is better than yours, or because I won’t give it to you?”

“Ew, gross,” Baekhyun says, wrinkling his nose. “If I was gonna go homo for anyone in this group, it wouldn’t be you.”

“It would _obviously_ be me,” Chanyeol announces, and Baekhyun gives him a long-distance bro-fist.

“Sorry, babe,” Baekhyun says to Jongdae’s reflection, offering an air kiss to soothe the burn.

Rehearsal is even more brutal when Jongdae’s a smug bitch and Baekhyun sneaks off for a crabby nap while the staff change up the stage. Their next show is in a couple hours and Baekhyun’s confident that he’s ran through their set so many times he could do it in his sleep.

When he wakes up, performing is the furthest thing from his mind as he takes in the mounds on his chest and the absence of something incredibly important between his legs.

The first thing he does is confront Jongdae. “What did you do with my dick?”

“Excuse me?” Jongdae asks, bewildered as he looks down at Baekhyun’s chest. “Are you crossdressing for this show? I don’t remember hearing anything about that—”

“You did something to me, you insufferable slut,” Baekhyun snaps. Even his voice is feminine, which makes his words extra mean. “You better give me my dick back before the show or I will personally remove yours.”

Jongdae’s lips form a straight line. “I honestly have no idea what happened to you. But for what it’s worth, you’re a very pretty female.”

“Well…thank you.” Baekhyun frowns, disapproving of the way Jongdae’s kind words had fluttered around in his stomach. “I’m gonna go find Leader—he’ll know what to do!”

Junmyeon stares at Baekhyun’s tits for the entire five seconds it takes him to realize that they’re  _real_  and forcibly shove Baekhyun’s shirt down. “Baekhyunnie! How did this happen?!”

“I don’t  _know_ , but I can’t perform like this.” Baekhyun huffs. “My voice is all wrong!”

“You would choose  _that_  point to focus on,” Junmyeon mumbles, clapping his hand to his forehead. “Try to retrace your steps. What did you do before you laid down to take a nap?”

“Argued with Jongdae,” Baekhyun answers. “He was accusing me of being jealous of his dick game, like that’s even a possibility. My dick game is  _fierce_ , I will have you know…when I have one, that is.”

Junmyeon’s hand moves to the bridge of his nose. “That wasn’t all he said.”

“What?”

“He accused you of wanting his…love,” Junmyeon explains, and Baekhyun grins at his leader’s absolute refusal to speak the word until he realizes what exactly he’s saying. “Maybe you need to have sex with him in order to change back.”

Baekhyun gapes at him. “Me? Have sex with  _Jongdae_?”

Now, Baekhyun knows his way around the female body better than anyone ( _especially_  Jongdae), thanks to his girlfriend of over one year. He knows how females work and has a general idea of how they get aroused, but  _nothing_  could have prepared him for the  _rush_ he feels at the mere thought of having sex with Jongdae, cock pounding hard inside him with Jongdae’s beautiful voice moaning in his ear.

“I need to call Taeyeon-noona,” he gasps, fleeing to the nearest closet with his phone. He doesn’t stop to consider the consequences of calling his girlfriend with a female voice until she screams at him for two straight minutes, thinking that he’s some other girl who has access to his phone.

When he finally manages to explain what’s going on, her breath is staggered by something other than anger. “Well. You have to do what you have to do.”

“You don’t mind?” Baekhyun asks, half relieved and half terrified. He’s going to have  _sex_  with  _Jongdae_.

“I’ve always wondered what the big fuss is about him,” Taeyeon says casually. Baekhyun imagines her shrugging as she checks her nails or silently nods at one of her band mates’ shopping selections. “Too bad you have to perform tonight or we could have some fun with your new parts.”

“What?!” Baekhyun squeaks.

“Nothing, baby.” Taeyeon giggles. “Go get your dick back. I’m kind of attached to it.”

Baekhyun walks out of the closet in a daze. Having permission from his girlfriend to fuck his band mate is quite possibly the weirdest thing he could have ever fathomed. He’s still out of it when he approaches Jongdae in the EXO-M dressing room and clears his throat.

“Yes?” Jongdae asks, frowning as he looks down at Baekhyun more than usual. “You’re still a girl, I see.”

“I need you to have sex with me,” Baekhyun says clearly, ignoring how Minseok chokes in the background and Yixing pretends he doesn’t understands Korean. “I still think this is your fault, so you’re the only one who can fix it.”

“Baekhyunnie,” Jongdae says with a knowing grin. “If you wanted it, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble of becoming a girl.”

“I hate you,” Baekhyun mutters. “Please just fuck me and get this over with so I can have my dick back and hit my high notes properly.”

“I’m not gonna give it to you if you don’t want it,” Jongdae says, folding his arms. “I’m sure Minseok-hyung has no problem singing your high notes if you’ve suddenly fallen under the weather.”

“I really don’t,” Minseok volunteers. “I know all of your lines.”

“You play dirty, Kim,” Baekhyun grumbles.

“You’re really cute when you’re angry,” Jongdae tells him with a wink. “And not just as a girl.”

Baekhyun inhales sharply and gathers all of his humility that he usually saves for the stage. “I want you…oppa.”

That has Jongdae’s eyebrows rising to his hairline, but he moves closer and rests his hands on Baekhyun’s waist. “You sure?”

If Baekhyun’s new body had reacted at just the thought of having sex with Jongdae, actually being in the position to do it was a thousand times worse. A chill disperses over the entire surface of his skin, a dull ache growing between his legs. He honestly doesn’t know how females manage to contain themselves while aroused.

“Yes,” Baekhyun answers, much less sarcastic as he wraps his arms around Jongdae’s neck and leans their foreheads together. “I am sure.”

“I have somewhere else to be,” Yixing announces, bumping into several chairs on his way out of the room.

“I don’t,” Minseok says, and Baekhyun looks over Jongdae’s shoulder to see that fucker kicked back on the couch with a bag of snacks. “Don’t mind me.”

Baekhyun’s about to tell him to get the fuck out, but then Jongdae  _picks him up_  and perches him on the end of the counter, thighs on either side of Jongdae’s thin waist. All at once Baekhyun wishes he was dressed like a girl, or at least a girl who wears skirts that he doesn’t have to make effort to take off right now.

“You’re a mess already and I haven’t even touched you,” Jongdae whispers, his breath on Baekhyun’s jaw making him shiver. “All of those female hormones too much for you to handle?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Baekhyun whines. “Do you talk this much with your one night stands?”

“Sometimes.” Jongdae leans down to lightly press his lips to Baekhyun’s jaw, igniting a jerk so sharp that Baekhyun almost loses his balance. “You’re not them, though.”

“How observant— _oh_ ,” Baekhyun starts, gasping when Jongdae’s hands slide up his sides. They don’t stop, thumbs brushing the swell of his breasts and Baekhyun clasps his ankles around Jongdae’s back, pulling him closer.

“Damn, okay.” Jongdae leans into the embrace, Baekhyun’s thighs clamping down on his waist as he presses flush against Baekhyun’s center. Baekhyun can feel Jongdae’s dick starting to harden as it rubs against him and it’s quite possibly the best feeling in the world. “Okay, Baekhyunnie. I got you.”

Then Jongdae’s hands are on his breasts and Jongdae’s mouth is on his mouth, the kiss surprisingly pleasant considering their mutual arousal. Baekhyun gasps as Jongdae thumbs his nipples, then takes them between his thumbs and forefingers to pull a soft moan from Baekhyun’s lungs. Jongdae groans low in his throat and Baekhyun grabs onto his shirt, rolling his own hips pointedly to feel more.

“You gotta help me get you out of your pants,” Jongdae whispers against his lips, which part to let in Jongdae’s probing tongue as Baekhyun reaches down to shimmy out of one leg of his dress pants and underwear. The crisp air of the room is more noticeable than usual, cooling the wetness that’s formed between his legs as they spread even more for Jongdae’s probing fingers.

Minseok is barely five feet away, but he probably could have been in the next arena and heard the moan Baekhyun lets out when Jongdae presses a finger inside him, instantly bending his knuckle like he knows right where to go. He does, too, the bastard, Baekhyun falling out of their kiss as Jongdae touches him just right, one fingertip probing against that spot, then two.

“Feel good?” Jongdae hisses, mouthing all over Baekhyun’s jaw and neck as he works Baekhyun’s insides like a pro. Hell, Baekhyun would probably take notes right now if he wasn’t otherwise indisposed.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Baekhyun swears as his body convulses uncontrollably, his first orgasm as a female. “Don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, baby,” Jongdae says, his voice all breath as he grinds against Baekhyun’s thigh. He’s fully hard now, constricted by his own dress pants and Baekhyun is very aware of what that feels like, how torturous it is.

With what little coherence he has left, he reaches down to pop the button and lower the zip, shoving his hand inside to squeeze Jongdae’s cock and preen at the low groan he gets for his efforts. He’s always liked Jongdae’s voice, more than just vocal appreciation, possibly wondering what he would sound like in situations like these, whether he would be loud and high-pitched or soft and deep.

“Do you think I have to wear a condom?” Jongdae asks as he pushes in a third finger. Baekhyun hardly notices with as fiercely as his body is pushing back, fucking himself on whatever Jongdae wants to give him.

“I vote no,” Baekhyun replies, a firm supporter of anything that gets Jongdae inside him faster. If he ends up pregnant, well, he’ll have one up on all of Jongdae’s other lovers.

“Fuck, okay.” Jongdae shoves his pants down enough to function and pulls out his fingers, both hands gripping firmly onto Baekhyun’s hips. “Stop me if it’s too much, okay?”

“I bet you say that to all your girls,” Baekhyun teases, but the joke’s on him when Jongdae pushes in and the air is pierced with another one of Baekhyun’s shrill moans. It feels so  _satisfying_ , filling him completely and touching him everywhere he wants to be touched inside. He can’t quite catch his breath, gripping onto Jongdae’s shoulders to stay grounded because he just might fly away otherwise.

“Baekhyunnie, you feel so good,” Jongdae mutters, his voice all air as he presses his face into Baekhyun’s neck. “I wonder if you feel this good as a man too.”

“You into that?” Baekhyun asks, his muscles tightening at the thought of having Jongdae inside him the other way, maybe bent over the counter instead of banging his tailbone against it on every thrust.

“I’m into  _you._ ”

Jongdae drags his lips up Baekhyun’s jaw to fuse their mouths together, the kiss exceptionally hotter as Jongdae pounds into him. One of the hands on Baekhyun’s hips disappears, but he doesn’t think much of it until a finger is flicking his clit and  _oh my god_  no wonder Taeyeon clamps his head between her legs when he goes down on her.

“Jongdae,” he gasps out, back arching to toss his head back. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Jongdae latches his mouth onto Baekhyun’s throat. “Come, baby.”

This orgasm is so much more intense than the first one, leaving his insides even more needy for Jongdae’s cock. Jongdae’s hands drop down to his thighs, spreading him open to fuck him deeper and Baekhyun can’t stop his noises, choking on the moans that resound in his own head along with Jongdae’s long, drawn-out groans.

Baekhyun comes two more times—each surprising the fuck out of him—before Jongdae loses his composure. Hands grab him roughly, hips snapping like he’s trying to fuck Baekhyun into the counter and Baekhyun loves it, his female body squeezing Jongdae’s cock until it twitches, followed by a full body spasm and a soft puff of Baekhyun’s name that sends Baekhyun into another unexpected orgasm.

He’s still regaining his breath when he hears a slow clap, peering through his blurry vision to see Jongdae rolling his eyes. “Shit, I can’t even move.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one who limped away from this,” Jongdae whispers, smirking as he presses one last kiss to Baekhyun’s lips. “I bet the fans will have interesting theories about why Baekhyun-oppa walks like he’s been thoroughly fucked.”

Baekhyun frowns. “When I get my dick back, I’m gonna smack you with it.”

“Promises.”

Jongdae pulls completely off of him (and out of him), leaving him lying on the counter looking completely debauched with his pants hanging off of one leg.

“It’s actually growing back,” Minseok comments, peering over Jongdae’s shoulder as Jongdae makes an feeble effort to clean himself up. “This is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.”

It’s the most fascinating thing Baekhyun has ever  _felt_ , his parts shifting around as he returns to normal. It still feels like he just got laid, not to mention the lingering attachment to Jongdae that he’s not going to think about until he reports back to his girlfriend.

“I really do have a magic dick,” Jongdae says with a laugh, bro-fisting Minseok without looking. “You’re welcome, Baekhyunnie.”

“Whatever,” Baekhyun mutters. “Someone help me get dressed.”

That night’s concert is only mildly awkward, and only whenever he and Jongdae have to interact. Baekhyun had sent Taeyeon a quick text with the results before the show, hoping she wouldn’t turn around and accuse him of cheating after all, just to return to a message saying in no uncertain terms that she would be fine with Baekhyun testing Jongdae’s reputation as a man too.

_No way in hell_ , he types back, just to get a row of laughing emoticons and some winky faces in return.

“For shame,” Jongdae mutters from right behind Baekhyun, cutting his eyes toward Baekhyun’s phone before leaning in to speak in his ear. “Between you and me, they aren’t always women I hook up with.”

Baekhyun stares after him as he walks away. Well…maybe.


End file.
